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Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Yes! We are All mom enough.

I usually don't get involved with sharing my opinion publically about issues that have attracted lots of attention BUT I just have to say something about all the craziness surrounding the TIME magazine cover...Are You Mom Enough? First, I want to know WHY we are all consumed with how other mothers are mothering? Is it so we can compare our own "mothering skills"? Is it so we can feel better or worse about our own parenting? Do we have some need to feel like we are the better mother? I'll be honest here...I could care less if you bottle-feed or breastfeed, gave birth without drugs or with, got pregnant on "accident" or was planned, if your baby was made in a test-tube, made naturally or adopted, if you spank, use time-out or a little of both, if your child watches TV or doesn't...I mean I really just don't care. I say as long as the child is safe and having his/her needs met it really isn't any of my business how you parent. I say we are ALL mom enough. I mean, we are all doing it, right? I believe it goes back to the saying, "There is more than one way to skin a cat." I mean really. I know that I was brought up differently than my husband; friends and I'd even say my own brother and guess what??? We have all turned out to be happy productive citizens of society. I think that instead of constantly analyzing each other's mothering skills we should encourage each other. We are allowing the media to stir up all kinds of craziness within each of us. I've seen all kinds of interesting things on Facebook lately in response to this magazine. People bashing breastfeeding and people bashing NOT breastfeeding...and by people I mean women, moms. I've yet to see on my feed a man have anything to say about this. Probably a good thing...but perhaps we should join them. Why can't we understand each other? Learn from each other? Accept each other? Why not instead of criticizing we try and understand and encourage each other to mother in a way that works for her family. I have the greatest friend! She is a fabulous mother to 2 little boys. She has been absolutely wonderful in sharing EVERYTHING! Good, bad and ugly. She's very honest, which is most appreciated. :) However, she knows that just because she shares with me what she does with her sons, does not mean I'll try it with my daughter. AND you know what!!?? That’s ok. Why? We have respect for each other. We are raising 2 very different families. Her and I are 2 different people, therefore we will mother differently. Motherhood is a journey we're all trying to figure out as we go. Mom always said that babies don't come with an instruction manual and boy was she right! It'd be so much easier if they did. Ha! Sharing with each other what works for our families is great! Bashing what another decides is best for her family is not great. It's really that simple. I really think that the TIME article was great at exampling yet another way to parent. Was it provocative? Absolutely! Could they have chosen a different title for the cover story? Sure. But their job is to sell magazines. My response to something like that is to stay level-headed, open-minded and hear what they have to say about yet another way to parent. I refuse to let a magazine article make me feel like I am not mom enough. That would be just plain silly. So I ask you...Do you get up in the middle of the night with a hungry, teething, sick, had a bad dream, wet the bed baby/child? Do you forgo the cute outfit you want so your kiddo can have the newest "cool" pair of shoes? Do you have stretch marks in places you never thought you'd have stretch marks? Does your home have toys that make noise and other "beautiful" sounds that you find yourself still humming to when the kiddos are in bed? Do you give boo-boos kisses? Does your heart melt when your sweetie wraps his/her arms around your neck to give you hugs? YES!!! We are all mom enough!!! There are so many other issues dealing with children that we should be concerned about. NOT, criticizing specific ways of mothering. Motherhood should in a way be like a sisterhood. We stick up for each other, support one another, understand each other, listen to each other and provide words of encouragement. Why is this so hard for us? I say we start celebrating the fact that we are all mothers and that we are all given the freedom to raise our children the way we choose. After all, aren't we all doing the best we can? Don't most mothers do what they believe is the best for their family and child? I believe that is a resounding YES OF COURSE! So I say, next time, because we all know there will be other times where magazine covers provoke emotion in us mommas, we just all take a breath and take the time to read the article, form our own personal opinion, decide what is best for our own child and then encourage other mommas in their own decisions. Let us not focus on the exact "way" of mothering BUT just being a mom. I think deep down inside we each know how to do this. I believe it's an instinct, something men don't have. Let's not allow the media to "pick" at each other. Instead, let's put our focus on raising our own kiddos in ways that work for our family and encouraging, supporting, sharing and listening with our own momma friends.